Hospital.
After the doctor helped Xiao Mubai treat the wound and apply medicine, he wrapped it in gauze.
"Don't let the wound get wet for a while. Also, be careful when moving around, and don't make large movements with the injured shoulder. You need to take the medicine on time, you don't need to stay in the hospital, but the wound is quite deep so you'll need a tetanus shot."
After coming out of the doctor's office, Shen Nian had Xiao Mubai sit and rest while she ran back and forth to collect the various medicines.
Xiao Mubai sat down after getting the tetanus shot, and saw Shen Nian hurrying over.
She was holding a paper bag, setting it down on a bench nearby, and taking out a white T-shirt and jacket from inside.
"There aren't many clothing stores nearby, and given the time, I just picked something casually. Don't look down on it."
Xiao Mubai came from a decent family, so this hundred-yuan white T-shirt was probably the first time he'd ever worn something so cheap.
Looking at the clothes in Shen Nian's hands, Xiao Mubai smiled and asked, "You went to buy clothes for me?"
Earlier, after she had collected all the medicines and given him the bag, she had said "wait for me" before running off. At the time, Xiao Mubai didn't know what she was going to do, but now seeing what was in her hands, he understood.
"Yeah." Shen Nian folded the clothes and put them back in the bag, softly saying, "Your clothes got blood on them."
Xiao Mubai was still wearing the bloodied white T-shirt, since he didn't have a change of clothes, he couldn't just not wear anything.
"Let's go change clothes in the doctor's office from earlier," Shen Nian said.
"Okay."
The two went back to the doctor's office from before, and after asking, the friendly doctor stood up and left, giving them the space.
Xiao Mubai's shoulder was injured, so he couldn't raise that arm. Earlier, the doctor had helped him get the white T-shirt on.
Now with the doctor gone, only Shen Nian could help.
To save time and avoid Xiao Mubai having to move his arm too much, Shen Nian used scissors to cut open the bloodied T-shirt from the side and tossed it in the trash, then took out the new white T-shirt.
When she'd seen him being treated earlier, she'd caught a glimpse of his upper body, so there was no point being shy about it now. It was just his abs showing, as long as she didn't have any improper thoughts, things would be innocent between them.
She first put the T-shirt sleeve over his uninjured arm, then carefully lifted his injured arm and slid that sleeve on.
The shirt Shen Nian bought was very loose-fitting with a wide range of motion, so the series of movements didn't disturb Xiao Mubai's wound.
The light shone down on Shen Nian's head, accentuating her quiet and gentle demeanor. Xiao Mubai could look down and see her lowered lashes as she focused intently on helping him dress. Her lashes were dense and long - she had an exquisitely beautiful facial structure.
He remembered someone once said that for a woman with great bones, her beauty lasts a lifetime.
Xiao Mubai's mind wandered briefly, as if flashing back five years earlier.
When he first saw her.
Back then, she stood in front of the school's honor roll monument, staring blankly at the names engraved on it, while he gazed at her... equally entranced.
Xiao Mubai felt his throat dry up. "Nian Nian."
"Hmm?" Shen Nian was still busy dressing him.
Xiao Mubai gazed at her intently. "This is the first time you've been so good to me."
They had known each other for so many years, yet although Shen Nian treated him as a friend, she always kept her distance, because she knew he liked her.
"..." Shen Nian's movements paused briefly, and Xiao Mubai clearly saw her lashes quiver, though she quickly regained her composure.
After getting the shirt on him, Shen Nian grabbed the jacket to put on him as well, softly saying as she dressed him, "You're a good person who has helped me a lot. I don't want to be indebted to you."
Xiao Mubai gazed at her unwaveringly. "I've said before, I willingly give to you, never expecting repayment."
After zipping up the jacket, Shen Nian finally looked up to meet Xiao Mubai's tender, affectionate gaze. "I know what you want, but I can't give it to you, so I don't want to owe you too much."
What he wanted... Xiao Mubai's gaze fell.
What he wanted was her, it had always been her.
Now she was clearly telling him that she couldn't give him what he wanted, which was tantamount to telling him she would never love him in this lifetime.
Shen Nian knew saying this would hurt his heart, but even though she was well aware, these were words she had to say.
She couldn't give him what he wanted, so she didn't want to be indebted to him.
"Xiao Mubai, I've told you before, you're a good person deserving of a good woman, not someone lowly and unworthy like me."
"What is a good person? What is lowly and unworthy?" Xiao Mubai suppressed the dejection in his eyes as he looked at her and asked.
"There are no perfect people or things in this world - everyone has their own thoughts and mentalities. Even the most famous celebrities have haters. You could donate to charity and still be accused of showing off. Even wealth, which millions of people aspire to, is seen by some as worthless garbage. So what is good, and what is bad?"
Xiao Mubai looked down at the jacket on his body that she had bought for him, wondering how anything could look better.
A full ten seconds passed before Xiao Mubai continued, "Like you, Shen Nian. You think you're lowly and unworthy, indebted to Lu Lingchuan and Lu Lingrui, indebted to the Lu family. But to me, you're the best woman I've ever known. You have a heart, flesh and blood. No matter how you talk about yourself, in my heart you're that good."
If she was a heartless person, she would have run away after facing such an ordeal.
In that past incident, Shen Nian was also a victim. So even if she didn't atone, no one could do anything to her. If she hadn't run away back then, perhaps it wouldn't have just been Lu Lingrui driving herself to suicide.
Both Shen Nian and Lu Lingrui would have been ruined.
But Shen Nian didn't flee. She bore the pain of the Lu family, showing up for every court case over the years.
Because she was the most crucial witness, using herself to seek justice for Lu Lingrui.
"..." Upon hearing Xiao Mubai's words, Shen Nian's lashes quivered, but she didn't speak.
"So..." Xiao Mubai paused, using his uninjured arm to stroke her hair. "Nian Nian, even the strongest person has times of physical and mental exhaustion. Just remember, I'll always stand behind you as your sturdy mountain to lean on. Even if I know you can't give me what I want, I still want to use my meager strength to protect you."
Just like... how she had treated Lu Lingchuan.
Everyone, including herself, knew that as long as she and Lu Lingchuan couldn't let go of their care for Lu Lingrui, the two of them could never truly love and cherish each other wholeheartedly.
She was so intelligent, clearly understanding this principle, yet she still chose to stay by Lu Lingchuan's side regardless, willingly tormenting each other.
Like a moth to a flame, knowing it would die charging forward, but still unhesitatingly rushing in, gambling its life for that last flicker of warmth.
