【Heart, darling little system of mine, you better think of a way quick and save my sorry hide! I'm looking as delicate as a flower here, and my husband hasn't even tucked me into bed yet. I don't want to bite the dust just yet!】
【Host, fear not, your wise and valiant little darling system is here to save your skin!】
【How? Hurry up and save me! Those four grim reapers are about to reach me.】
【Host, this system has come up with a brilliant idea to rescue you from the jaws of death in the nick of time.】
【Darling little system, what's your brilliant idea? Spit it out quick! Those four grim reapers are almost here.】
【Ahem! My dear host, the solution to this perilous situation is—run up to those four grim reapers and give each of them a loving hug. Then, with your great maternal love, persuade them. Let them, under your great maternal love, lay down their weapons and attain enlightenment.】
【...】
【Host, what are you standing there dumbfounded for? Hurry up and give those four grim reapers a great big hug! Let them experience your great and selfless maternal love!】
【System, I, I... curse you, you son of a...!】
Lin Zaozao cursed through gritted teeth.
【You brainless dog of a host, now run up to those four grim reapers, hug them, and while you're at it, transfer some of their pain. I believe that anyone with a heart of stone, under your selfless maternal love, will be moved to tears by your great and selfless love.】
【System, you're a mole sent by those four grim reapers, aren't you! Your intention is to kill me, isn't it! They want to kill me, and you want me to transfer their pain! System, do you think I've lost my mind! Besides, if I touch them, won't they just slap me into the wall, the kind that can't even be scraped off!】
【You disobedient fool of a host, this system will lend you a hand. If they dare slap you, this system will silently mourn for you for a second. Foolish host, remember, you must transfer the pain to those four grim reapers. Only if you do as I say, can I help you!】
After the system finished speaking, Lin Zaozao's body uncontrollably lunged towards the four approaching figures in black.
When Lin Zaozao's hand clasped one of their hands, all she could think was...
I'm done for today!
I'm as good as dead!
I'm going to be slapped into the wall, unable to be scraped off!
【Foolish host, hurry up and help them transfer the pain! What are you standing there like a wooden donkey for? Hurry up and get to it!】
【Why aren't they moving?】
【My pause function. Foolish host, time is limited. Hurry up and shake hands with those four assassins!】
【Oh! Okay.】
Listening to the system's anxious voice, Lin Zaozao, with her heart pounding and legs wobbly, quickly began helping the black-clad figure in front of her transfer their pain.
Lin Zaozao quickly shook hands with the four expressionless men in black before her, and after helping them transfer their ailments, her brain finally caught up with the situation.
【Dog system, I, I've touched their hands. Oh! No, I mean, I've transferred their ailments.
Oh no, I forgot. I should have taken advantage of that minute to deal with them!】
【Too late!】
【Dog system, why didn't you remind me!】
【Foolish host, stop the nonsense and check your random rewards for the two choices. That's the only way to know if this system has tricked you.】
Listening to the system's impatient voice, Lin Zaozao quickly examined the random rewards she received for helping the four men in black.
All the random rewards she got from these four men were either: dancing the Swan Lake ballet perfectly without any training, or instantly gaining 200 pounds.
【Host, make your choice quickly!】
Hearing the system's urgent tone, Lin Zaozao looked at the rewards with a blank expression.
【System, can I have both of these random rewards?】
【Yes, the cost is that the host will gain twenty pounds.】
【Then I'll gain twenty pounds! With just three drops of third-grade beauty serum, I can lose it again.
My lovely little system, use both random rewards on those four black guys over there. I want to see fat swans dancing now.】
【Alright, host. Random rewards, immediately delivered! Smooches!】
【Alright, smooches!】
【What's with the smooches! Foolish host, acting like a child.】
Just as the system finished scolding Lin Zaozao, due to her quick ailment transfer, the four men in black, who had felt much lighter, were momentarily stunned. Their bodies began to rapidly gain weight, visible to the naked eye.
Due to the rapid weight gain, the tight combat suits on the four assassins were all torn apart by their own fat, turning into tattered strips hanging loosely on them.
Before the four Fat Swans, who were still in shock from their sudden weight gain, could react, their hands and feet uncontrollably held each other, and they started dancing.
Lin Zaozao stared in amazement at these four Fat Swans, who were dancing the Swan Lake ballet with a horrified expression.
But when she swept her gaze over the faces of these four Fat Swans, she couldn't help but turn away in disgust.
Damn, these four Fat Swans are so ugly! The night guards arranged by Brother Han Ye at her side were all well-built and handsome.
But these four assassins, why do they look so eye-wateringly weird! They're unbelievably ugly, making it hard to describe.
And their lower parts!
Oh!
So thin!
These four fat swans were dancing with bare bottoms, holding hands, and it was both eye-watering and hilarious!
Especially their buttocks!
Huh!
So jiggly!
Watching the buttocks of these four fat swans trembling, Lin Zaozao's eyes were almost turning into saucers.
Just as Lin Zaozao stared wide-eyed at the four fat swans dancing, the previously disappeared Matchless and Invincible both knelt in front of her.
"Master, please forgive us."
"Master, please forgive us."
Lin Zaozao looked at Matchless and Invincible kneeling before her, immediately bursting into tears.
"Matchless, Invincible, where were you two gallivanting off to just now? Do you realize I almost had my neck wrung by those four chubby swans? Even if they didn't wring my neck, they would have plastered me against the wall. If I hadn't been quick-witted, you'd still be scraping me off the wall! Oh, how terrifying those four chubby swans were! Oh my, Mount Solitude, I miss you so much! I nearly kicked the bucket! Matchless, Invincible, my heart is still trembling with fear, you scared me so much..."
Listening to Lin Zaozao's sobbing voice, Matchless and Invincible, who had been bowing their heads in self-blame, quickly raised their heads to see if Lin Zaozao was injured.
After all, back in the Waterfall Village, they had promised in front of the Demon Lord that in this lifetime, they would protect their master.
But what they saw when they raised their heads was Lin Zaozao, half-covering her eyes with her hands, gleefully watching those four naked assassins dancing their strange dance.
Her attempt to cover her eyes was futile; with those sparkling eyes, they could see everything clearly.
They couldn't understand how their master managed it, crying on the outside but smiling on the inside.
Just as Matchless and Invincible were feeling somewhat speechless, Lin Zaozao patted their shoulders and asked in confusion, "What about you two? Where were you just now? Why didn't you come to rescue me?"
"Master, we encountered assassins just now and were entangled by them for a while. As soon as we dealt with those assassins, we hurried over. We're sorry for being late, please forgive us."
"There's a reason for everything. You two don't need to kneel. Besides, I'm fine anyway. But it's quite nice here now, watching the chubby swans dance. Hehehe..."
Lin Zaozao decisively lowered her hands from her eyes, took off the moon-white cloak draped over her shoulders, and handed it to Matchless and Invincible.
"Matchless, Invincible, cut this cloak into four pieces and give one to each of those four chubby swans to tie around their waists. Honestly, watching them bounce around with their bare bottoms, I can't fully appreciate their graceful dance."
Matchless took the white cloak handed over by Lin Zaozao. It was thin and translucent, barely covering anything. It would only fuel the imagination even more!
But when Matchless and Invincible met Lin Zaozao's threatening gaze, they immediately complied.
With a tear, the white cloak became four pieces. Then Matchless and Invincible walked towards the four chubby swans, who looked terrified.
Those four brainless fools dared to harm their master. Though they were the Demon Lord's secret guards given to their master, she had never treated them as emotionless tools. If they were injured, their master would personally help them heal. If there was something delicious, she would always share it with them. Even their clothes, their master would arrange for someone to make for them.
The master who usually fusses about spending money never frowns when giving them both silver.
As long as they need it, she gives without asking for reasons. Masters like these are hard to come by.
Those who harm the masters, even if they don't die, must endure some punishment.
They are evil spirits who crawled out of Purgatory Valley with the Demon Lord. When it comes to tormenting people, they excel at it.
After all, they were born in hell.
Anyone daring to take away their only light will have them make the world accompany them in darkness.
So, after a brief exchange of glances, Matchless and Invincible took advantage of the moment when they were dressing the four plump swans to make a few points at the acupoints around them.
With just a touch to the acupoints of Renzhong, Yongquan, and Tiantu, they would feel endless pain but wouldn't lose their lives.
Whether these four individuals can survive in the future depends on the master's will.
In any case, they won't let them off easily.
Lin Zaozao took the opportunity while Matchless and Invincible were dressing the four plump swans around their waists to pick up Ji Fantian.
"My Sweetheart Good System, are Fantian, Ruo Qiu, and Xiao Taohua poisoned?"
"Yes, host. They are poisoned with a specially crafted gu poison. Once it enters the body, it's challenging to cure."
"Oh no, my Sweetheart Good System, you can't tell me such cold words! My poor heart can't take it."
"Silly host, who was the one scolding this system just now? Now you call me Sweetheart Good System. Were you a chameleon in your past life?!"
"I never scolded you. Sweetheart Little System, I hit you out of love. We have such an extraordinary relationship! How can you be so petty! My Sweetheart Good System, my cutie, my precious, my happy system, can you tell me how to save Fantian? If he dies, I won't live either! Besides, we haven't even consummated our marriage! How can he leave me like this! What a tragic event in this mortal world!"
"Foolish host, don't fake cry. It's all thunder and no rain; you don't even show a bit of sincerity.
Host, this system can help you save them, but I have a condition."
"What condition? Just tell me."
Lin Zaozao waited for the system to tell her the condition, but after a while, the system remained silent.
"System, system, why aren't you speaking? Did it malfunction or hiccup?"
"Host, if you ever encounter a man frozen in ice in the future, could you, please, save him?"
"A man frozen in ice? System, is that man your relative? He's frozen in ice, and he's still not dead?!"
Lin Zaozao asked in confusion.
