Li Min grew up in a family that favored boys over girls. After having five daughters, her parents finally had a son.
But fate seemed to play a cruel joke on them. This long-awaited son turned out to be mentally disabled. He couldn't speak or understand others, and would throw things around when agitated. Despite this, because he was a son, he remained the center of the family, cherished by everyone.
Li Min was only three years older than him but shouldered the burden of caring for her brother. Though her parents favored her brother, they were also exhausted by their disabled son and pushed all responsibility onto young Li Min.
Li Min's feelings toward her brother were conflicted. She loved him because she had raised him, and he depended on her. At the same time, she resented him because his existence robbed her of all free time. Her parents even considered pulling her out of school to care for him full-time. Only after her desperate pleas and her sisters' intervention did they abandon this idea.
Li Min's love for her brother gradually faded, and hatred took over.
So one day, when she saw some mischievous village boys teasing her brother, Li Min hid and let them humiliate him.
She watched as they pushed him into a pond. Her brother screamed helplessly while the boys laughed. When they had their fun, they left, leaving her brother struggling in the water.
Li Min panicked and ran to the pond's edge to pull him out, but suddenly remembered her parents' words:
"We shouldn't let Min continue school. Too much education makes girls willful, and she won't want to care for her brother anymore. When she's older, we'll find her a live-in son-in-law, any man will do as long as he's willing to look after Qiang Qiang. This way she can stay home and care for Qiang Qiang."
Why should her life be tied to her disabled brother? It wasn't fair.
If her brother died, she would be free. Her brother deserved to die.
With these thoughts, Li Min withdrew her outstretched hand.
"Sister, I'm scared," her brother looked at her in bewilderment and despair, slowly sinking into the pond.
Li Min became frightened again. She tried to reach for her brother but couldn't find him. She ended up sinking into the pond herself.
Adults passing by heard the commotion and jumped in, pulling them both out. She survived, but her brother died.
When the soaking wet Li Min was brought home, her parents beat her viciously, nearly breaking the fire poker before they stopped.
"Why did Qiang Qiang die? Why couldn't it have been you, you worthless girl?"
Li Min glared at them fiercely. "Go ahead, keep beating me. Beat me to death if you dare! Your only son is dead, and my sisters are all married. If you kill me, who will care for you in your old age?"
Her parents were shocked, seeming to realize something. From then on, they changed their attitude and treated Li Min very well.
They reasoned that since they had no son, when Li Min grew up, they could find her a live-in son-in-law who could serve as a half-son to them.
The cause of her brother's death was quickly determined. Those boys who had teased him had pushed him into the pond where he drowned. Li Min's parents went to their homes and made a scene, receiving a substantial compensation.
With the comfort of money, her parents weren't as heartbroken over their son's death. After all, he had been disabled.
They soon forgot about him, but Li Min couldn't. She kept remembering those desperate eyes and hearing a voice saying, "Sister, I'll be good and wait at home for you to return from school."
Li Min's body was free, but her soul wasn't. She had caused her brother's death. She was guilty.
Later, she studied special education and learned a lot of professional knowledge. She realized her brother wasn't stupid, he had autism. After graduation, she worked as a teacher at an autism intervention center, hoping to make up for her guilt by caring for these children.
Later, moved by Director Zhang's story, she quit her job and became a volunteer at "Star Home".
Director Zhang was the kindest person Li Min had ever met. She was incredibly patient, treating almost all the children as her own. She would patiently read them fairy tales and check on them in the middle of the night. The children all called her "Director Mom".
One night, Li Min saw Director Zhang in the dormitory hallway. Seeing her, Director Zhang smiled and asked, "Min, are you having trouble sleeping again? Do you need someone to talk to?"
Li Min's nose stung with emotion. She sat down with Director Zhang on chairs in the play area and started talking. Li Min couldn't help but tell Director Zhang about her and her brother.
"Was that pond deep?" Director Zhang asked.
"Very deep."
"Min, memories can be deceptive. Even if you had grabbed your brother then, you might not have been able to save him. The pond was too deep. If you had tried to save him, he might have pulled you in too. It wasn't your fault. It was those boys who pushed your brother into the pond. You feel guilty, so you've magnified your own responsibility. But protecting and caring for your brother wasn't your responsibility, it was your parents'."
"Everyone blamed me!" At that moment, Li Min burst into tears.
Director Zhang hugged her, comforting her like a child. "Min, the ones who should feel guilty aren't you, but your parents."
Director Zhang then shared her own story with Li Min.
"I once had an autistic son too. I loved him dearly. For him, I got divorced and sold all our property. But caring for him was so difficult. Sometimes he would lose control of his bowels, other times he would suddenly throw tantrums and break things. I had to watch him 24 hours a day. But I was so young, I wanted my own life too.
One rainy night, he ran downstairs again. I followed him down, and then I saw bright lights coming towards us. It was a large truck. I knew what was about to happen, and I knew that if I grabbed my son right then, he could still live. But I hesitated. I was afraid of living like that for the rest of my life. In those few seconds that I hesitated, the truck hit and killed my son..."
Li Min stared at Director Zhang in shock. "So you're trying to make up for your guilt towards your son?"
"Yes. I'm atoning for my sin."
"But what if your memory is deceiving you too? What if you really couldn't have grabbed your son in time?"
Director Zhang fell silent.
That late-night conversation brought them closer together.
But Li Min never expected that Director Zhang's true face would soon be revealed to her.
Director Zhang had actually made a deal with a pharmaceutical company, allowing these autistic children to become test subjects. She even connected the company with more parents of autistic children.
Li Min confronted Director Zhang. "We're not sure if those drugs have side effects. What if something happens to the children after they take them?"
"Li Min, nothing will happen."
"How can you be sure? Did you ask the children's opinion? Are they willing to be guinea pigs? Autism can't be cured! How could these drugs possibly work?"
"How do we know they won't work if we don't try?" Director Zhang argued. "Li Min, if Yuanyuan and the others could choose, do you think they'd rather be idiots for life, or take a life-threatening gamble for that 1% chance of becoming normal? I'm telling you, they'd rather die than stay like this forever. They want to be normal, and I'm helping them."
"That's just what you think, not what they want! You're a hypocrite. Back then, you watched your own son get hit by a car just to get rid of your burden. You could have saved him but chose not to. And now, you're clearly doing this for money, but you're using such an absurd excuse to justify yourself."
Director Zhang fell silent. She didn't defend herself.
Li Min knew Director Zhang wasn't doing it for money. If she wanted to embezzle funds, she had many ways to do so. But Li Min didn't understand why Director Zhang would believe the pharmaceutical company's lies.
When Yuanyuan repeatedly sought her help, expressing his fear of the drugs and medical examinations through drawings, she finally made up her mind to kill Director Zhang and the mastermind behind it all, Jiang Yun.
She had to protect these poor children!
She successfully used those two children to kill them. However, she sank into deeper self-condemnation - how was she any different from Director Zhang and the others when she used Yuanyuan and Yan Yan to commit murder?
She too had become a demon.
