There were no shortage of servants in the villa to take care of Qiao Ying, but apart from bathing and dressing her, Qin Hanyue did almost everything else himself.
Even when the servants bathed her, Qin Hanyue stood guard outside the bathroom, afraid they might not be gentle enough and accidentally drop her.
He took meticulous care of every little detail. Lying in bed, Qiao Ying was looked after much better than he, a healthy man capable of caring for himself.
Summer was ending swiftly, and the weather was turning cooler.
Qin Hanyue carried her to the wheelchair and made her comfortable before going to grab a hair tie and comb.
At the end of last year when they were on the run in Peru, he had washed her hair. Qiao Ying said then that her hair was getting too long and she wanted to cut it, but they never got around to it. Qin Hanyue didn’t have the heart to cut it for her, even though washing her long hair was quite troublesome every time.
Now her hair reached all the way to her waist.
Qin Hanyue combed her hair and gathered it to one side before starting to braid it.
Fourth Master sat next to the robot Qin Hanyue, crouching as he watched for a while. Then he flopped down listlessly on the ground.
The huge villa felt empty and lonely every day. Over the past six months, Fourth Master had visibly grown dispirited and depressed.
Lethargic all day long, he was only a little over two years old but looked like a tired old dog who had lost all hope and zest for life.
Occasionally, Qin Hanyue would take pity and play fetch with him with a ball, to prevent him from actually becoming depressed. But Fourth Master would pick up the ball and bring it to Qiao Ying’s bed. No matter how much he barked, she ignored him.
Qin Hanyue braided her hair into a simple plaited style.
Today Qiao Ying wore a floral print dress with a beige knitted cardigan over it. The braided hairstyle made her look gentle and feminine.
Even if he didn’t take Qiao Ying out for walks, Qin Hanyue made sure the servants dressed her in nice clothes. She had been quite fastidious about quality of life when she was awake. Naturally Qin Hanyue would not let her stay in pajamas looking unkempt all day.
Although to him, she looked good no matter what.
Qin Hanyue went to squat in front of the wheelchair and smoothed her braid, touching the cute cartoon pattern on the hair tie as he smiled.
“You must hate it, but I think it looks nice. If you were awake you probably wouldn’t let me put this on you, so I’m taking advantage now.”
He neatened her cardigan collar and saw her protruding collarbone. A wave of sorrow rose in Qin Hanyue’s heart.
No matter how well he took care of her, Qiao Ying was still wasting away before his eyes, relying solely on nutrient solutions to maintain bodily functions. She had become almost emaciated.
Qin Hanyue silently collected himself and started massaging her legs.
“The new year is almost here again. Xiaoying, I really am getting old.” He spoke slowly.
Autumn was a sentimental season, and the increasingly sensitive Qin Hanyue was somewhat affected by the melancholy vibe of this season.
Seeing her, he felt a little anguished. “Are you really going to wait until I’m seventy or eighty, all wrinkly and white-haired, before waking up?”
Whenever he thought about how long it might take, despair shrouded Qin Hanyue. He murmured, “What if...what if you find me repulsive then?”
That was obviously not his real concern.
He said softly again, “If it takes that long...what about you? How will you endure...” His voice choked up slightly.
He counted the days, living them as if each were a year.
“How can I help you...”
Qin Hanyue gently rested his head on her legs, as if seeking comfort but also trying to encourage her.
Euthanasia was legal in foreign countries. Needless to say, it likely had an extremely high implementation rate among coma patients, given their suffering.
This autumn was particularly long. Throughout the entire season, Qin Hanyue’s mood sank again and again.
Cheng Jinyan came by a few days ago and noticed his abnormal mood. Afraid Qin Hanyue might develop psychological issues, Cheng Jinyan specially stayed at the Qin house for several days.
Fortunately Qin Hanyue seemed fine, at least not yet to the point of needing Cheng Jinyan’s psychological counseling.
Cheng Jinyan drank with him one night and told him some stories about Xue Ying from the past. After that he felt better.
The first snow of this year came earlier than previous years to Beijing.
The snowfall was also unusually heavy, blanketing the entire city of Beijing in white.
Beijing University students excitedly pelted snowballs at each other outdoors, bundled up thickly in padded jackets that nevertheless failed to contain their youthful energy.
The most beautiful years of a person’s life — while some reveled freely on campus, others lay in eternal slumber on a bed.
Snowmen built by students could be seen everywhere on campus.
During their free time, one could occasionally hear them mention the school belle who had not come to class for a very long time...
Driving back to the Qin house from the company, Qin Hanyue smoked one cigarette after another with the car window open. Seeing the vibrant youths by the roadside.
The driver, Qin Yan, did not dare advise him.
Snow covered the ground. The car moved slowly. Qin Hanyue’s patience wore thinner and thinner, his emotions growing increasingly unstable, but he kept his temper in check.
He smoked to relieve the stress on his own.
Back home, Qin Hanyue first eliminated all smoke smell before going to Qiao Ying’s bedside. Seeing her, most of the negative emotions automatically vanished.
Too much cold wind — he seemed to have caught a slight cold. These past two days he felt unwell, like he had been chilled. Anyway his physical condition was not ideal.
Qin Hanyue was in an especially awful mood today.
Maybe it was the nasty weather, or maybe it was due to smoking too much which messed up his health. Or perhaps the emotions he had suppressed for over half a year had reached a breaking point and were finally starting to crack.
Qin Hanyue could not calm down at all.
The wind and snow raged outside the window. He sat by the bed for a long time, talking to her non-stop, but was unable to adjust his state no matter what.
Night had fallen and finally, shamelessly, he made a request of her: “Can I sleep with you tonight?”
Qin Hanyue gave his own room to Qiao Ying. He moved to the next room. Ever since Qiao Ying fell unconscious, Qin Hanyue had been staying next door.
“You’re not answering, so I’ll take that as a yes — thanks.” He shamelessly kissed her as well, happily expressing his gratitude to her.
“I’m going to shower first, be right back.” With that, it was as if Qin Hanyue suddenly regained his energy as he got up to bathe.
After his shower he returned to bed, switched off the lights, and drew her into his embrace, pressing his face against hers.
They remained that way for quite some time before he moved back.
He let out a soft sigh.
“I don’t know why, but I’ve been in a bad mood all day. Maybe I just don’t like this year’s heavy snow.” Afraid she might misunderstand, he quickly supplemented, “But seeing you makes me feel better.”
Even though he had no idea if she could actually hear him talk.
“Mother went to the temple to pray for your blessing again the day before yesterday. Last time when I summoned a Taoist priest to call your soul back, I scared her badly.”
“Now she eats vegetarian food, recites Buddhist scriptures all day, and copies sutras whenever she has time, for fear I’ll look for another Taoist priest. Her son causes her so much... ”
“Luckily you’re my betrothed, otherwise my father would surely take a cane to me.” Qin Hanyue said jestingly.
“It’s gotten cold now so I can’t take you out for walks every day, I seem to have caught a slight cold.”
He chatted endlessly with her, seemingly unable to stop, telling her about recent happenings, his company, Beijing University, people they knew, their time in Acacia Valley and Peru...
His soft voice echoed faintly in the spacious room.
“That brat from the Huo family came again today. He actually tried to climb the wall to sneak in this time— nearly got himself shot dead by the bodyguards.”
“Don’t tell me he dares to like you? He used to avoid me like the plague, but now in order to find you, he trespasses on Qin family ground.”
“Why do so many people like you.”
Qin Hanyue felt sour.
“Hurry up and wake up.”
Qin Hanyue looked at Qiao Ying ignoring him and seemed a little miffed. He bit down on her face as punishment, then immediately eased up, not bearing to actually bite hard. After a moment he released her and contritely smooched the tooth marks, kissing loudly.
Finally he felt sleepy.
He switched off the lights. “Good night.”
Outside, the shadows of trees swayed.
Qin Hanyue had continuous dreams.
He dreamed Ye Si snatched Qiao Ying away and he couldn’t get her back no matter what, never seeing her again.
He dreamed Feng Ying had not died, that Qiao Ying had been with Feng Ying from beginning to end while he became an onlooker, watching the two of them.
He even dreamed Qiao Ying’s soul had left this body and he was taking care of an empty shell without a soul every day.
And he dreamed Qiao Ying awoke but did not recognize him, treating him with extreme coldness. He wanted to explain their relationship yet could not utter a word.
He even dreamed that Qiao Ying had married someone. He was not clear on who she had married, he never saw the groom's face, he only knew for sure that the person she married was not him.
He finally dreamed back to that cliff edge, dreamed that Qiao Ying had fallen off, and that he had not been able to save her from the sea.
An explosion sounded, and Qiao Ying was also blown to smithereens.
Qin Hanyue increasingly frightfully opened his eyes, waking from the nightmare.
His entire body felt somewhat exhausted. He raised his hand and pressed it to his aching temples, opened his eyes for a moment, and realized daylight had already brightly arrived.
Suddenly,
the hand pressing on his temple stopped, his eyes flashed open instantly, his gaze fixed, and he instantly sobered up.
He remembered something, and also realized something, so he abruptly turned his head to look beside him.
He only saw that the space beside him was empty.
