Xiao He picked up the cup and took a sip of water, his eyes faint as he opened the conversation box: "Dr. Cheng, how long have you and Qiao Ying known each other?"
"I have formally known her for less than two years. We met in Yuncheng because of a rather special lawsuit and hit it off right away," said Cheng Jinyan, his expression rich as he recalled that silly lawsuit.
Xiao He: "Formally known?"
Cheng Jinyan: "How do I put it? Don't you know, Xiao He, that the reason why Qiao Ying takes special care of you is because of a friend of hers?"
Xiao He nodded slightly: "So the reason why Dr. Cheng and Qiao Ying get along so well is also because of her friend?"
Cheng Jinyan nodded.
Xiao He: "It's clear that this friend of hers is indeed very important and special to her."
Cheng Jinyan nodded again.
Xiao He: "I saw on the forum that Qiao Ying has another close friend, a silver-haired mixed-race man."
Cheng Jinyan joked: "No way, Xiao He is so petty that he even eats expired vinegar?"
Cheng Jinyan adjusted his sitting posture: "The reason why Qiao Ying and Qin Hanyue broke up messily is that Qin Hanyue interfered too much."
"Qiao Ying loves freedom more than anyone or anything. Xiao He, if you want to pursue her, you can’t make the same mistake as Qin Hanyue."
Xiao He: "I know."
Cheng Jinyan: "Xiao He doesn't need to treat that guy as a rival. He's just a promiscuous playboy by nature."
Xiao He: "Can Dr. Cheng tell me about her?"
"Although I hit it off with Qiao Ying at first sight, I haven't known her for that long. I was more familiar with her deceased friend."
Xiao He: "She must have been a special and awesome girl like Qiao Ying."
Cheng Jinyan: "The fact that your brother could be friends with her means he must have been outstanding too, at least when he was alive. It’s a pity your mother named you Xiao He, with the meaning of reunion, but they both passed away."
Xiao He was silent for a moment, then said, "I think his life was worthwhile, even if it was only twenty some years, it was still better than mine."
Cheng Jinyan gently comforted: "Xiao He, don't feel sad for yourself. You still have a long life ahead with endless possibilities."
Xiao He looked at the gently swaying curtain, as if lost in memories.
He slowly opened his mouth, "I've forgotten most of what happened when I was little, especially things related to Xiao Chengdong."
Xiao Chengdong was Xiao He's alcoholic father.
Cheng Jinyan: "Avoiding harm is human instinct. It's normal not to remember, and it's a good thing."
Xiao He: "From an early age, I was the most eye-catching in my class. My classmates and teachers could all see the injuries he left on me. Everyone knew about his evil deeds, but the teachers felt it was because I was disobedient and it was discipline. They were too lazy to do anything because I not only had injuries but also wore shabby clothes. Bad kids grow up like me and they could only see me bringing bad influence to the school. People instinctively seek benefits and avoid harm. They saw me as an outlier to make themselves look normal. Bullying and oppressing me was a righteous act to show they were good kids. People can be that nasty regardless of age or gender."
"Just because that student dressed better than me and was cleaner than me, everyone believed him and not me."
"Just because it was me, things had to be magnified and I had to be pulled up on the flagpole for everyone to know."
"Just because I don't like to talk, they could still grab that point and scold me a few words to vent their emotions."
"Compared to the harm Xiao Chengdong inflicted, these were nothing, I didn’t even have enough to eat, how could I have the energy to cry over such petty fights." Xiao He spoke like an onlooker, indifferent.
Cheng Jinyan: "If they were really nothing, you wouldn't have talked about it."
Xiao He fell silent briefly before speaking again:
"Just because my mother didn't buy him alcohol, he took a knife to kill my mother. In the end, the knife slashed me. At that time when I was seven, I wanted to kill him. I had already thought it through to be caught by the police and then shot dead, but I wasn't scared at all."
Xiao He talked in detail about the harm and unfair treatment he had received from a young age - the violence of his family members, the evils of the school and society. No matter which environment, he couldn’t escape from human nature.
Cheng Jinyan listened quietly.
Xiao He: "After my mother was cremated, I thought I might as well kill Xiao Chengdong and then commit suicide."
"She was by my side at that time, so I couldn't do that. Later the messages she sent repeatedly stopped me."
Cheng Jinyan: "It's not worth throwing your life away for such a scumbag. The harder it is to grow up, the more you shouldn’t take your life lightly."
Xiao He: "A cheap life, nothing is worth it or not. But now it really isn’t, I’ve found other things to do."
"Although she was good to me because of her friend and because of my brother, it doesn’t matter. It’s her and me."
Cheng Jinyan: "First of all, congratulations for finding a new life. I think if your mother and brother have a soul in heaven, they can rest assured too."
Xiao He lowered his eyes to look at the sketch in Cheng Jinyan’s hands and said, "Dr. Cheng, have you left anything out in this drawing?"
Cheng Jinyan looked: "See what’s on your mind, what else you want to add or remove."
Upon hearing this, Xiao He stared at the drawing absent-mindedly.
The clinic was very quiet, and the ticking of the clock gradually became clear, filling the entire room.
Xiao He's attention was drawn to the creative clock on the wall.
White background, black hands, ticking every second.
Cheng Jinyan followed his line of sight and also looked at the clock.
Suddenly,
Xiao He asked softly: "Dr. Cheng, what time is it?"
Cheng Jinyan looked at the clock: "Four forty-two."
Xiao He was still staring at the clock, murmuring: “The weather is nice today, the wind feels nice."
Cheng Jinyan agreed: "Hmm."
"Let me tell Dr. Cheng a story," his voice flowed like a spring dripping from the mountains: “In a beautiful villa, a peasant woman gave birth to two brothers. She favored the older one and neglected the younger one. She often locked the younger brother in the woodshed and kept all the good stuff for the older son. But the elder brother was very nice to the younger brother and always secretly kept half of the good stuff for his brother locked in the woodshed. Suddenly one day, the woman changed and let out the younger brother she didn’t like, then locked up the elder brother she used to favor. She started giving all the good stuff to the younger brother while ignoring the elder brother. Dr Cheng, do you know why?”
“Dr. Cheng, you must be tired. Relax and lie down to rest.” Xiao He’s gentle voice drifted like a feather in the white clinic, ethereal as if unreal.
The clock kept ticking.
Cheng Jinyan’s eyes gradually lost focus as he lay on the recliner.
A pocket watch fell in front of him, swaying gently in midair.
Cheng Jinyan stared blankly, his eyelids drooping as he stared dully at the swaying watch.
Suddenly he heard someone ask gently: “Dr. Cheng, what’s your full name? Can you tell me?”
Cheng Jinyan reacted sluggishly as if his soul was taken away, expressionless. He only answered woodenly: “...Cheng Jinyan.”
“How old are you, Dr Cheng?”
“Twenty-eight.”
“What does Dr. Cheng like to eat the most?”
He paused for a moment: “I like...the noodles my mother cooks.”
Mentioning this, a trace of a smile appeared on Cheng Jinyan's face, as if lost in a beautiful dream, unwilling to wake up.
“Who is Dr. Cheng’s best friend?”
“Blood Shadow, Ye Si.”
“Tell me, where is Blood Shadow?”
