Old Lady Wang hurried back home and listened for a while outside Liu Yizhu's room door. Hearing no movement inside, she first went to the kitchen to cook porridge for him. When the porridge was ready, she knocked on his door.
"My boy, get up first and drink the porridge before going back to sleep."
Liu Yizhu wasn't sleeping. He put away the paper and writing brush on his desk and opened the door for Old Lady Wang: "Mother, give it to me."
Old Lady Wang handed the porridge to him. Seeing his hair and clothes weren't messy, she knew he hadn't been sleeping. She glanced at his desk and said unhappily, "Didn't I tell you to rest well? Why are you up reading books again?"
"I'm fine."
Liu Yizhu sat back down on his chair, constantly stirring the steaming porridge but didn't eat a mouthful.
"Eat up."
"It's too hot. I'll wait a bit."
Seeing him like this, Old Lady Wang was worried sick. "I shouldn't have taken you to visit your father's grave yesterday."
She complained, "Who knew the wind on the mountain would be so strong."
"It's nothing. It was necessary to go." Liu Yizhu's voice was flat without any ripples. He put aside the bowl and casually flipped open a book. "Mother, I want to read for a while. You go rest."
"Then I won't disturb you. Rest if you're tired."
Seeing her son couldn't eat at all, Old Lady Wang had no other way. She left the room and closed the door for him. Back in the kitchen, she kept the remaining porridge warm in the pot so he'd have something hot when hungry later.
She returned to her room, took down her late husband's memorial tablet and wiped it clean, hugging it to herself. Her eyes involuntarily moistened and she complained, "Why did you leave so early? I have to do everything now. If I don't, I've let you down, but if I do, I've let our son down."
She raised her hand to wipe away the tears, her voice hoarse, "What should I do? Seeing him like this..."
"You might as well take me away. I want to be like you too, free of worries and as carefree as can be."
Early yesterday morning, Old Lady Wang had prepared offerings of paper money and got ready the sacrificial items. On the excuse that Liu Yizhu would be leaving again soon, she wanted to take him to the mountain to pay respects to Liu's father as a farewell.
Although in previous years she hadn't taken him up the mountain at this time, Liu Yizhu didn't doubt her and agreed to go along.
With no snow since New Year's, the path was easy to walk. Mother and son soon arrived at Liu's father's grave. He used a sickle to clear away some of the accumulated snow and weeds on the grave while Old Lady Wang cleaned the offering table.
From the basket Old Lady Wang took out a piece of cooked pork, put in the incense sticks, and lit them with a fire starter. She urged Liu Yizhu to kneel and said, "Talk to your father. Let your father bless you properly."
Liu Yizhu didn't know what to say. He just lit the paper money and placed it in front of the grave.
His father passed away when he was still small. Now he had almost forgotten what his father looked like. He only vaguely remembered his father lying in bed, coughing violently, even coughing up blood, which frightened his mother into screaming. He had been scared stiff too.
Then after a few days, his father was put into a thick coffin and buried here.
Every year his mother would bring him here to pay respects to his father. Each time she would ask him to speak to his father and ask for blessings. When he was little, he really believed his father could hear him. Every time he would properly tell his father he didn't need blessings. It was enough to bless Mother.
His mother had to do everything and was truly exhausted.
Whenever he said this, Old Lady Wang would choke up and turn her head away to cry.
Later when he grew up and read more books, he understood that death extinguishes life, and his father had long dissolved away from this world and could neither hear him speak nor bless them. So he never spoke again.
With him not speaking, Old Lady Wang didn't mind. She carried on a one-sided conversation with Liu's father, telling him some ordinary affairs.
Suddenly she glanced at Liu Yizhu and the corners of her mouth turned up in a smile, extremely joyful. "Our son has grown up now. I found a matchmaker and am preparing to propose a marriage for him. Maybe next time, it'll be the three of us coming to see you."
"If it goes smoothly, in a couple years the Liu family can also have an addition. When I come to see you holding your big fat grandson, you'll definitely laugh with joy."
Old Lady Wang happily clapped her hands, as if she already had a house full of grandchildren. She laughed, "Then the Liu family will really prosper. Even when I've closed my eyes, I can hold my head high going to see you."
Finally Liu Yizhu understood why his mother had suddenly brought him here to visit his father's grave. It was for this purpose. He lowered his eyes and gave a cold laugh. Go ahead and try to find someone he doesn't care for at all.
Li Mingwei's words were like nails, each word nailed into his mind. Her earnest tone made him feel if he disturbed her again, he really wouldn't be able to justify it.
But giving her up didn't mean he had to accept someone else.
"Mother, I've said I don't want to get married."
Old Lady Wang's brows shot up as she scolded harshly, "Do you really not want to get married or are you pretending you don't want to get married? Do you think I don't know what's going on? I'm afraid with a flick of that woman's hand, you'd be preparing your wedding feast tomorrow!"
"Don't even think about it!" Old Lady Wang's hand shook as she pointed at the grave in front. "If you have the guts, tell your father right now that you've decided to cut off the Liu family line!"
"Mother!"
"Say it! Say it in front of your father."
Looking at his yelling and threatening mother, Liu Yizhu suddenly felt estranged. He sighed lightly and said helplessly, "I won't go look for her anymore. Isn't that enough? But I really don't want to get married."
Old Lady Wang was half distrustful, half trusting. "You really won't go look for that woman anymore?"
Liu Yizhu nodded slightly and gave a bitter laugh. "Looking for her would be fruitless anyway. She said she's leaving. You...forget it. When she's gone, whether you believe it or not, you'll have to."
For some reason, hearing her son say this made Old Lady Wang's heart suddenly tighten. She looked at him anxiously. She knew it, she knew something wasn't right with her son since he came back yesterday.
She let out a breath. Leaving is good, leaving is good.
Liu Yizhu finished burning the remaining paper money. He knelt silently for a while, then suddenly said, "Mother, you didn't use to be like this."
Hearing the catch in his voice, Old Lady Wang turned to look. Only then did she realize her son's eyes had reddened. She opened her mouth wanting to say something, but her throat seemed choked.
She was paralyzed, only able to watch as her son got up and left. After he had gone far away, she collapsed to the ground in front of the grave and broke down sobbing loudly.
She cried until she was exhausted and sat numbly at the grave for a long time before tidying up and getting ready to leave. She had thought her son had already gone home, but unexpectedly he was still waiting for her at the foot of the mountain.
Seeing her son's lonely back, Old Lady Wang's nose soured again. Seeing him suddenly turn his head, she hurriedly wiped her face with her sleeve and walked quickly up to him.
"Why are you waiting here? The wind is strong. Don't catch cold. Let's go home."
Liu Yizhu took the basket from her hand with a murmur and walked in front.
