For the promised benefits of getting married, one can say that year after year, day after day, there are always the same few things said over and over again.
Similarly, the downsides of getting married - after so many years Wen Qian has seen so many examples.
So is it important whether one gets married or not?
If you want to get married, then go get married. If you want to stay single, then stay single. It's not against the law. Why must you always try to pair someone up?
She never felt that getting married was the start of happiness. Happiness starts from loving yourself.
Loving yourself means facing yourself, not necessarily finding someone to validate you.
The two old men next to them would laugh out loud from time to time when they heard the dialogue between Wen Qian and Gui Hua, probably also seeing that Wen Qian did not have that intention.
But Gui Hua felt that as long as she said a few more sentences, the other party would agree with her view, so she continued.
Finally, Wen Qian rolled her eyes to the sky. This time, Auntie Chen also saw it and said that everything was up to fate, if there was no fondness then forget it.
Matchmaking is not a bad thing, but in Auntie Chen's opinion, it only works if both parties are interested. If the child is unwilling, what's the point of still talking about it so enthusiastically?
Gui Hua was unhappy inside. In previous years, matchmaking was considered accumulating virtue. Now matchmakers could earn quite a bit of money. Young ladies were all coy and reluctant. With more persuasion, they would give in.
Moreover, right under her nose, how could there be someone staying single?
In all her years, in the surrounding dozens of villages, she had only seen bachelors who couldn't find a wife, and never an unmarried young lady.
So Gui Hua pretended to reminisce and talked about the dire situations of those without men back in her maternal village being bullied.
Wen Qian said, "They'll get bullied if there are no men in the family? These people are really lacking in moral character, only knowing how to bully the meek and fear the strong. Not one good person among them!"
Gui Hua was very happy. "That's right, that's right. You see, educated people understand things instantly. Even if they had a son or brother in the family, others wouldn't dare bully her, for fear of the son growing up and taking revenge."
Wen Qian: "Bullying single women, widows, oppressing orphans, this just shows it’s a bad village. For places like this, it’s best not to continue living there. Move away."
Wen Qian sighed heavily. "Auntie Gui Hua, it was the right family you married into. Look at my grandparents without children, yet living well in our village. Then look at your village and you’ll know it’s a place that bullies people."
When Gui Hua heard this, she quickly explained, "Oh, just one or two bad apples. The rest are quite kind-hearted."
"What kind-hearted? Orphans and widows being bullied yet all you villagers just stand by huffing and puffing, no one lending a hand? With so many of you, not one helped? What do you pay your village secretary for? Not to uphold justice? And the elders in your village didn't say anything?"
The two old folks next to them listened in a daze. They nodded in agreement when Wen Qian said their village had good traditions, and that even in adversity, no one would oppress seniors or the weak.
The topic was successfully steered away.
So Gui Hua was determined to press on and list the excellent conditions of the groom's family.
The old man frowned and asked, “The conditions are so good. Why does he still need someone’s introduction? Shouldn’t he be able to find a match himself?”
“Oh, I'm telling you this kind is a proper gentleman. Not fooling around outside, playing with willows and flowers, fickle types. Getting together with him will definitely be stable.” Gui Hua didn’t care if Wen Qian responded. As long as someone was listening to her, that was fine.
Wen Qian uttered an “Oh” and said, “So he’s the honest type!”
“Yes, yes, that’s right. An honest person. Isn’t that what you look for in a husband? Dishonest folks either hit or scold. If they’re too capable, others covet them too. Honest people are the best!” Gui Hua thought her words had caught the other party's attention and felt hopeful again.
"So not hitting or scolding people, not socializing, not earning money, and not very eloquent means being honest?" Wen Qian pretended to be puzzled. "Are you praising or ridiculing him?"
If he was eloquent, say he has good communication skills. If he's good-looking, say so directly. Talk about capability when it comes to earning money.
If there's nothing good that can be said, then just say he's honest. Nowadays, “honest people” is nearly an insult.
Wen Qian felt that Gui Hua’s packaging skills were too good to just do sales. Speaking of which, weren’t matchmakers a type of salesperson?
"Auntie Gui Hua, have some water. I already said no need after you talked to me for so long."
"Aiya, child you really are stubborn. I'm so sincere yet you still refuse to even take a look for my face? You can just come back if you don't like him."
"No need for that. I'm too lazy to bother." No need to give her face. Wen Qian felt she didn't deserve it.
"Then can I bring him to your door? It's just a few steps, no need to walk far. I'll bring him over to meet you. Go through with it if suitable, otherwise forget it. That should show my sincerity right?"
"Don't bargain with me. I said no so it's no. Don't bring anyone else to my house either."
"I'm just concerned for you. Both elders in your family have passed. It’s just you alone now. Wouldn’t you feel more secure with someone I'm familiar with? If you got cheated while dating outside, knowing nothing about the other party or their family, they could abuse you. Then you wouldn’t have anyone to turn to for help.”
Wen Qian impatiently replied, "According to you, if I don't get along with the person you introduce, will you bear responsibility?"
"Uh, of course not. One has to live their own life. It's not like I'm living it for you." Who does matchmaking while bearing lifelong responsibility?
"Since I have to live my own life and not yours, I don't fancy your opinions on him. Hurry and introduce someone else. There are so many people in this world. Go introduce to others."
"Now where are there many young ladies? The girls are all in the cities. None left in villages."
"There are! How can there be none? In the woods, rivers, grass thatches, the messy weeds of that gully over the hill. So many girls everywhere, all over the place if you throw a rock." This was what Wen Qian's grandmother told her about where newborn girls were discarded.
It took a while for those present to understand Wen Qian’s implication. Gui Hua sighed, “Times were hard then. Couldn’t afford to raise them. Even with many births, most couldn’t survive.”
“How strange. Boys and girls eat the same food, drink the same water. How come boys could be raised but not girls?”
Wen Qian directed the conversation to gender preference. From what she knew, Gui Hua's family had a daughter-in-law who aborted a female fetus, only wailing loudly for the whole village to know when she discovered it was a boy after the abortion.
Auntie Gui Hua stammered for a couple sentences. “That was because of favoring sons in the past. So girls are precious now. Less girls, so you'll definitely be living the good life at his home.”
"Isn't it to give birth to sons?"
"It's best to have both a son and a daughter. Besides, having the girl first and then the boy later is also very good - the older sister will take care of her younger brother," said Auntie Chen.
"What if the second child is another girl?" asked Gui Hua.
"Oh, didn't the three-child policy just get introduced?"
"What if the third is still a daughter?"
"How could anyone be so unlucky?" Anyways, since you already took the matchmaker's money, who cares whether you give birth at all or what you give birth to.
Auntie Chen watched as Gui Hua was led away by the nose, and sighed inwardly.
Wen Qian said: "It's not about luck really - I've seen several families with whole bunch of sisters, who keep trying for a son to carry on the family line, even paying fines for extra children."
What Wen Qian said stabbed Gui Hua in the heart. Gui Hua's elder daughter-in-law had secretly given birth to a third child while working away from home, and still had to pay a fine when she returned. She was already 38 when she had the third child, still trying for a son.
Wen Qian was just giving examples actually, not targeting Gui Hua specifically.
