"Without telling me the reason, and not allowing me to go and apologize..." Lu Jinxi sighed slowly, though a faint smile still lingered on her face, light and subtle. "Then what do you want me to do, mother?"
"I won't allow you to apologize!"
On this matter, Xue Chi was stubborn to the point of being frightening. His mind was set, and his fists clenched tightly at his sides showed no sign of loosening. His eyes were slightly red.
"I didn't do anything wrong! You don't believe me at all, mother! What else can you do besides apologizing?"
What else can you do besides apologizing?
Such a short sentence, yet it struck Lu Jinxi's heart like a sharp hammer.
She was momentarily stunned, her shimmering eyes fixed on Xue Chi, unable to speak for a moment.
Earlier, she had asked for the reason, but Xue Chi refused to explain. So she suggested that she would go and apologize, hoping to force him to make a choice.
After all, if he truly believed he had done nothing wrong, he shouldn't stand by and watch his mother apologize on his behalf.
This was a tactic Lu Jinxi had used many times before.
But she hadn't expected Xue Chi's reaction to be so intense.
At first, she didn't understand why, but when Xue Chi blurted out those words—angry and seemingly rude—she finally understood.
It wasn't hard to imagine. The original Lu Jinxi was known for her gentle and kind nature, rarely making enemies.
Xue Chi, on the other hand, was a notorious troublemaker, often causing issues. If Lu Jinxi had encountered such situations before, how could she not have gone to apologize?
Not every incident was Xue Chi's fault.
But hearing him say, "What else can you do besides apologizing?" made her realize that Lu Jinxi must have apologized often.
Adults apologize to save face and maintain propriety, but what does that look like through a child's eyes?
Lu Jinxi fell silent for a long time, her gaze locked with his.
Xue Chi stubbornly refused to look away, as if trying to pour out all his dissatisfaction and anger. Yet, hidden beneath those rough emotions was a trace of hurt.
"You..."
Lu Jinxi chuckled softly, feeling a warmth in her heart.
She slowly reached out and gently pried open Xue Chi's tightly clenched fist, her touch both tender and firm.
"Besides apologizing, there are many things I can do. You want me to believe you, but have you ever trusted me?"
"..."
Xue Chi was momentarily stunned, meeting Lu Jinxi's calm gaze, and found himself speechless.
His fingers were being opened, one by one.
But he didn't want this. It felt as though he had hidden something deep within layers of boxes, and now Lu Jinxi was slowly, patiently, opening them.
A sense of panic washed over him, and he wanted to tighten his fingers and pull away from her.
But when he lowered his gaze and saw his mother's pale, delicate fingers, so fragile they seemed like they might break at the slightest touch, he didn't dare struggle.
He was afraid of hurting her, even though he was just a child.
And so, his small hand slowly unfolded.
Lu Jinxi looked down at his palm and knuckles, which were already red and slightly bruised, and frowned slightly. "Don't clench your fists like that again."
As she spoke, she took his other clenched fist and began to pry it open as well.
She didn't pay attention to his expression and continued, "If you want others to trust you, you must first trust them. I'm your mother. When something like this happens, and you won't even tell me the reason, is that trust? How can I convince others if you don't trust me?"
Xue Chi remained silent.
Lu Jinxi added, "As for apologizing, it's common for adults to apologize to each other, even if they're not at fault. It's a matter of politeness, to avoid damaging relationships. It doesn't necessarily mean you're in the wrong."
"Adults do that? Apologize even when they're not wrong?"
Xue Chi sounded skeptical, his voice muffled as he asked.
"It happens all the time."
Apologizing doesn't always mean much, even if it often feels uncomfortable.
Lu Jinxi knew this all too well. In her early days, when she was struggling to make a living, how many times had she taken the blame for others or swallowed her pride?
"In life, not everything goes the way you want it to. If you don't want to apologize, you either need a strong reason not to, or you need to have the power to back it up."
Lu Jinxi undoubtedly loved her child. Just by seeing how considerate Xue Chi was of his mother, it was clear she was a good parent.
So, she didn't want Xue Chi to hold any resentment toward her. She laid everything out plainly.
"You're old enough to understand these things now. A young man should take responsibility."
Once she had opened both of his hands, Lu Jinxi held them in her own and placed her other hand on his shoulder, sitting beside him.
"I'm willing to believe you, but if you've hurt someone, you need to own up to it."
"After my illness, I've come to understand many things. So, from now on, if it's not your fault, I won't apologize on your behalf."
"Now, can you tell me why you fought with Second Young Master Luo?"
Having just returned from Dazhao Temple, Lu Jinxi still carried the faint scent of sandalwood from the temple, which gradually filled the air.
Xue Chi smelled it, and his heart slowly calmed.
His eyelashes fluttered slightly, and his hands, resting in Lu Jinxi's palms, curled unconsciously.
Lu Jinxi knew he was thinking, struggling internally, so she didn't rush him.
But...
After a long while, he still stubbornly shook his head, his voice low. "...I don't want to say."
At least, he didn't want his mother to know.
"..."
This temper of his was truly stubborn.
Lu Jinxi was a bit surprised, but she wasn't angry. She simply stood up, crouched in front of Xue Chi, and met his gaze at eye level.
"Look at me."
Xue Chi raised his eyes, his dark pupils glistening with moisture, making them shine brightly.
For a moment, he looked pitiful.
Lu Jinxi wanted to laugh but held it back. She looked at him calmly and equally, without any pressure.
"Think carefully before you answer: Do you really not want to say?"
This was a serious question.
Xue Chi could feel it. He even knew that his answer would have consequences.
A voice in his head told him he should tell her.
But he ignored it, pursed his lips, gathered his courage, and firmly replied, "I really don't want to say."
"Alright."
Lu Jinxi knew this was his final answer.
Xue Chi wasn't ignorant. On the contrary, he was very clever.
She was starting to admire this little boy. "If you don't want to say, then I'll believe it's a secret you don't want to share. When you're ready to tell someone, you can come to me."
"Madam!"
Qingque, who had been waiting in the room, couldn't help but exclaim, her voice tinged with unease.
"The Duke of Ying's Mansion..."
"I'll handle it."
Lu Jinxi waved her hand dismissively, her smile relaxed.
She patted Xue Chi's head. "For now, just sit here and let Qingque apply the medicine. Don't move around. I'll go to the Duke of Ying's Mansion..."
"You—"
"I know, no apologizing!"
Before Xue Chi could speak, Lu Jinxi repeated the phrase he had been insisting on earlier, and couldn't help but laugh.
Xue Chi flushed with embarrassment, turning his head away with a huff.
Lu Jinxi didn't mind. She patted his hands and stood up.
"Anyway, this time I'll respect your wishes. Whatever you say goes. But before I leave, I have one more thing to tell you."
Xue Chi's ears perked up, and he slowly turned his head back to look at her.
Lu Jinxi's eyes were clear, a smile playing on her lips as she looked at him. "If you care about someone, say it properly. Sometimes people are too dense to figure it out on their own."
"Who cares about you?!"
As soon as the words left her mouth, Xue Chi exploded, nearly knocking over the small table beside him.
He glared at her furiously, but Lu Jinxi's eyes were filled with understanding, as clear as ice.
In that moment, Xue Chi felt like a deer caught in the snow, completely exposed. He quickly averted his gaze, annoyed. "Just go already! You're so annoying!"
He turned his head stiffly, looking toward the closed carved window.
Everything seemed normal, and he still looked like the little tyrant of old, but Lu Jinxi easily noticed his ears, red as if they were about to drip blood.
This awkwardness, he’s actually getting shy now.
Lu Jinxi nearly laughed out loud, but knowing that children are thin-skinned and that he had unwittingly revealed himself, she decided to play along and pretend she hadn’t noticed anything. “Alright, alright, I’ll be on my way now,” she said, turning around.
Qingque quickly stepped forward. “I’ve already prepared some precious medicinal herbs and tonics. Would you like to take them with you?”
“You’re always so thoughtful,” Lu Jinxi nodded, quite pleased with Qingque’s diligence and thoroughness.
If it weren’t for these two maids, Lu Jinxi’s life would have been much harder in the past.
“You’ll continue to take care of the young master here. Dr. Zhang will come to examine him shortly, so keep an eye out. As for the Duke of Ying’s Mansion, let these two maids accompany me,” she said, casually pointing to the two maids in green standing by the door curtain.
The two maids were momentarily surprised but quickly bowed. “Yes, Madam.”
“The items are over there. Hurry and fetch them, then accompany Madam. Be careful on the way,” Qingque pointed in a direction and added a few words of caution.
The two maids promptly gathered the tonics and medicinal herbs and followed Lu Jinxi out of the warm pavilion.
The wife of the Zhou family had already been waiting outside for a while. Seeing Lu Jinxi come out, she quickly bowed.
Lu Jinxi waved her hand casually. “Has Third Madam taken the person back? I understand. Your daughter still needs care, so I’ll grant you two days off to go and tend to her.”
The wife of the Zhou family was stunned.
She had come to report on Rui Zhu’s matter, never expecting Lu Jinxi to grant her such a generous favor.
For a moment, her eyes grew slightly moist, and she said with deep emotion, “Madam is truly kind. This old servant thanks you on behalf of Li’er.”
“Go on,” Lu Jinxi nodded, standing under the eaves.
The wife of the Zhou family sincerely bowed again before taking her leave.
Outside the corridor, the sky was still overcast, and the sound of dripping water could be heard under the eaves.
Lu Jinxi looked up, but instead of being affected by the gloomy weather, she felt her spirits lift, as if the sky had suddenly cleared.
The thought of Xue Chi’s reaction made her lips curl into a smile.
It was just too amusing.
What he meant by “don’t go apologize” was simply that he didn’t want his mother to suffer any unnecessary humiliation. After all, how could a first-rank titled lady lower herself like that?
But Xue Chi was truly terrible at expressing himself. Instead of showing concern, he wore a fierce, intimidating expression.
“What a silly boy…”
Lu Jinxi smiled softly, then turned her gaze away and walked toward the courtyard gate.
“This is outrageous! Is there no law anymore?”
“I’m just an old man, and you’d dare to bully me like this?”
“Do only the wealthy and noble need medical care? What about the poor?”
“I’ve always heard that Second Madam is kind-hearted and compassionate! But today, I’ve seen the truth. The world is truly going downhill…”
Before she could step out, a series of complaints reached her ears.
Lu Jinxi raised an eyebrow slightly, her warm smile still lingering on her face. As she stepped out, she saw Bai Lu leading an old woman and an elderly man carrying a medicine chest down the southern path.
Bai Lu, of course, noticed her too. She quickly gestured for the old woman and the man to stop, then hurried forward and called out, “Mad—”
But the last word caught in her throat.
Bai Lu looked up, staring at Lu Jinxi in a daze, her vision momentarily blurred by the radiant, warm smile on her mistress’s face.
This…
Is this Madam?
Her face was like a lotus blossom, her lips a soft pink, curving into a faint smile. Her clear eyes shimmered with a gentle light, slightly narrowed from her natural smile, giving her a lazy, captivating air.
She had been wearing a pale blue jacket, and having just recovered from illness, her complexion had been pale, almost as cold as the lingering snow around her.
But now…
This faint smile was like the morning sun breaking through, dispelling the melancholy that had long shrouded her face. It was as if the snow had melted, the ice had cracked, and her features had come alive, flowing like a spring stream—
Gentle and warm.
Her beauty was striking, radiant, and utterly mesmerizing.
Bai Lu stared for a long moment before suddenly remembering…
Their Madam had once been ranked among the capital’s three great beauties, alongside Virtuous Consort Wei Yi, who was currently favored in the palace, and Sun Xuedai, the wife of the Governor of Yingtian and Vice Minister of War, who had married into Jinling.
But why…
Why had she only just realized how stunning Madam truly was?
