I Want to Slack Off at the Demon Bureau

Chapter 51

Xin Yunmao was jolted awake by a sudden shake and reluctantly left his comfortable rattan chair, making way for Chu Zhishui. Standing with his arms crossed, he watched her take over the ancient rattan rocker and muttered, "Why can't I try it?"

"Shut up," Chu Zhishui retorted as she settled into the chair, leaning back and letting her feet dangle. The gentle rocking soon lulled her into a state of blissful relaxation. "It really is very comfortable."

His taste was indeed impeccable, no wonder he couldn't tear himself away. The rattan rocker had a magical charm that made one reluctant to get up once lying down. With a phone or iPad in hand, one could easily spend the entire day there.

"How much is it?" Chu Zhishui asked lazily, too comfortable to even lift a finger. She lay there like a noble, ordering her servant, "Check the price for me."

Xin Yunmao fetched the price tag and held it up for her to see.

"Not bad, quite reasonable," Chu Zhishui decided. "Let's get one."

Xin Yunmao blinked. "And put it in the courtyard?"

"No, inside the house. New furniture doesn't go outside," Chu Zhishui retorted, meeting his resentful gaze with a smirk. "What are you looking at me for? I'm the one paying, I'll put it inside where I can lie on it, not in the courtyard."

Xin Yunmao pouted in frustration.

She planned to place the rattan rocker by the small courtyard, in the sunniest spot inside the house, and then lock the door connecting the courtyard to the residence, making it impossible for him to sneak a sit.

The thought made her feel even better about the purchase, adding a whole new layer of enjoyment.

The two of them added the rattan rocker to their shopping list and continued to explore the rest of the furniture store. The store was vast, with various decorated showrooms, including a wide array of kitchen appliances.

Chu Zhishui breezed through the kitchen area, but Xin Yunmao stopped in his tracks, intrigued. Pointing to the gleaming kitchen island, he asked, "What's that over there?"

"An open kitchen. Mine isn't like that. They say it gets smoky," Chu Zhishui replied readily. "Besides, it doesn't matter to me whether it's open or not since I rarely cook."

She ate at the cafeteria for lunch and at home for dinner, leaving little opportunity to cook.

"Don't you want to take a look?" Xin Yunmao suggested. "Just a quick tour."

"Are you interested in kitchenware?" Chu Zhishui asked in surprise. "But you don't eat."

"With kitchenware, I can make rice balls and other things," Xin Yunmao said, recalling his experience in Zhudu where he found cooking wasn't so difficult after all. He was eager to try again, full of misplaced confidence.

Chu Zhishui sighed. "Last time, the sushi materials were already prepared, and you didn't use fire. You're a plant, aren't you afraid of fire?"

"Hmph, I'd never be afraid of such a small fire," Xin Yunmao scoffed. "I've never been afraid of fire since I was born."

Chu Zhishui had no choice but to follow him to the kitchen area. "Let's just look today. We're not buying anything."

"Why not?" Xin Yunmao was puzzled. "Did you think the last one wasn't good?"

"No, we don't have a refrigerator at home, so we can't buy ingredients," Chu Zhishui explained. "Did you expect me to eat it?"

She thought he was just interested in cooking, but now it seemed she would have to taste it too.

Xin Yunmao frowned. "Otherwise, what's the point? I don't eat."

"..."

Why would he cook if he didn't eat?

Chu Zhishui found him baffling, utterly incomprehensible. He wanted to cook in her home and then feed her, even though he didn't eat.

If he were a man, she would understand, but he was a bamboo spirit who once said, "I don't know," leaving her just as confused.

She was usually rational and logical, but Xin Yunmao had no logic. From the moment they met, it was like that. She could analyze things with structure, but not the whims of a bamboo spirit.

When he said he didn't know, she decided she didn't either and stopped trying to figure it out.

Soon, the two finished exploring the furniture store and found a showroom to rest in. Chu Zhishui was checking her phone, reviewing their shopping list and planning delivery times. If the furniture arrived on a weekday, it would be a hassle to sign for it while she was at work.

"I'll schedule the delivery for the weekend, but if it comes on a weekday, can you sign for it?" Chu Zhishui asked. "There are bamboo plants outside the courtyard. You can teleport there and then come back to the bureau."

"Sure."

Xin Yunmao no longer held any expectations for her requests, knowing they would be trivial tasks anyone could do. He could summon storms and traverse miles, yet she asked him to fix a faucet or collect a package.

Chu Zhishui was pleased with his prompt agreement. "That's all, thank you, Divine Lord."

The soft ambient lighting, the new LCD screen, the greenery on either side, and the cozy decorations everywhere.

This place was different from their empty new home, meticulously arranged to feel like a real home. The coffee table was cluttered with odds and ends and magazines, as if someone lived there daily.

The floor was covered in soft, plush carpet, and the sofa was springy. Leaning back, they felt like ordinary people returning home after a long day, finally able to relax and chat idly about mundane matters.

Xin Yunmao noticed she had stopped talking and glanced at her surreptitiously. She was engrossed in her phone, occasionally pausing to think, likely planning the placement of new furniture.

Under the pendant light, her fair face glowed with a golden hue, her skin smooth as jade. Made up, she was exquisite; without makeup, she looked youthful. Only her eyes always sparkled with boundless vitality. She seemed in good spirits, her posture relaxed, truly feeling at home.

He and she were in the same home.

This realization made him hold his breath, awakening emotions he had long been numb to. A surge of warmth, like melting snow in spring, spread through his veins, filling his chest with a warm, tingling sensation. Soon, the warmth permeated his entire being, prompting dormant plants to sprout from the earth.

He didn't understand this unfamiliar feeling, but he felt he possessed something. After millennia of wandering in barrenness, he had finally found a shallow pool of water, around which green shoots began to emerge, ushering in spring.

Xin Yunmao remained silent for a long time before suddenly asking, "Do humans always live so happily?"

Did humans, like her, work diligently, live earnestly, enjoy a home-cooked meal, and have a peaceful night's sleep? Always full of energy, occasionally down but quickly recovering, never finding life dull?

He found himself envying them.

"You feel happy?" Chu Zhishui was surprised. "Maybe you just enjoy shopping. Some people find buying furniture and decorating a hassle, often arguing over prices or trivial matters. It usually strains family harmony."

She had heard many such stories, where husbands were indifferent until things were bought and then nitpicked, or one spouse did more work and grew resentful, leading to bitter arguments. Ordinary life lacked drama, wearing people down with countless mundane tasks, often leaving them exhausted and withered.

"I suppose?" Xin Yunmao lowered his eyes. "I felt happy."

Chu Zhishui paused. "You're easily satisfied then."

After all, he wasn't human; bamboo spirits probably didn't have complex thoughts, living simply in nature.

Thinking about it, though he often spoke nonsense and was shameless, he never voiced objections. His sarcastic remarks were just for attention, and when asked to do something, he complied after a kind word, never holding a grudge.

Perhaps his omnipotence made him indifferent to rewards, like how he knew green tea would be sold to the Bureau but didn't mind their initial hostility.

He had no salary but still worked, truly remarkable, almost entering a communist society.

One characteristic of a communist society is that humans are liberated from alien forces that dominate their production and life, no longer possessing desires for what they need, and beginning to consciously create their own history.

He wasn't human, but he was very communist.

Chu Zhishui stared at him for a long time, her expression strange, until Xin Yunmao turned to look at her, puzzled. "What is it?"

She promised, "If you ever need to apply for labor arbitration in the future, I'm willing to provide guidance for free."

"?"

As the human and the spirit left the furniture store, the sky outside was gradually darkening, leaving no time to return to their new home.

Chu Zhishui realized that she had been coming home late frequently recently. As long as she was meeting him, she wouldn't head back until late afternoon, almost as if there were new tasks to complete together every day.

Xin Yunmao accompanied her across the familiar long bridge and suddenly said, "I also left something in the courtyard today."

"What is it?"

"It was given by that bird. There were several boxes of stuff, but I didn't look closely." Xin Yunmao recalled, "I don't need these, so I just left them in the courtyard."

"Could it be New Year's goods?" Chu Zhishui said, "There are fruits and drinks inside. You don't need those either?"

"No, there seems to be milk. I don't drink that."

Xin Yunmao preferred fruit tea over milk tea, so it seemed he had no interest in dairy products.

"It's too late to go back now." Chu Zhishui was troubled. She glanced at Xin Yunmao and then thought of a plan, "Why don't you go back and bring the stuff over? That way, I don't have to drive and move it myself."

He could store things in an instant and teleport freely, making him a flash delivery guy who would surely earn a fortune.

Xin Yunmao didn't hesitate and soon reappeared with the goods.

This time, he escorted Chu Zhishui to her residential complex, helping her move the boxes into the elevator before bidding her farewell on the first floor.

Moments later, Chu Zhishui reached her floor in the elevator. She struggled to push the boxes into the corridor, wondering how spirits were always so strong. Xin Yunmao didn't want to be caught on camera using telekinesis, so he indeed carried the boxes of New Year's goods in, looking effortless and composed.

At home, Chu Xiaohe heard the door opening and looked away from his phone, greeting, "You're back."

"Yeah."

"You've been going out a lot these past few days."

"I went to check on things at the new place." Chu Zhishui changed her shoes and called into the house, "Mom, I brought back some milk again. You don't need to buy any more."

"Okay, I got it." Xie Yan hurried out from the room.

Chu Xiaohe glanced at the pile of boxes and asked, "Are these New Year's goods from your unit?"

Chu Zhishui casually replied, "Yes, the usual ones."

Xie Yan was puzzled, "Why so many again?"

"They just gave out a lot." Chu Zhishui felt guilty and quickly made an excuse to leave, "I just got back from outside, I'll go wash my hands first."

Chu Xiaohe watched his daughter escape and carefully examined the New Year's goods, pondering something before concluding, "She's up to something recently."

"Ah?" Xie Yan was confused, "What's going on?"

Chu Xiaohe calmly said, "Do you remember when she was in middle school, the school was right next to our house, and it only took ten minutes to walk back?"

"I remember, it was the old compound."

"But there was a period when she took half an hour to come back, definitely wasting twenty minutes on the way, just like these past few days." Chu Xiaohe said confidently, "The reason was that there was a puppy in the courtyard at that time, and the owner let it out. She would play with it after school and only come home after saying hello."

Chu Zhishui had always been a well-organized child, meticulously managing her study time. Even when she saw a cute puppy, she wouldn't indulge in play for too long but would enjoy it for a while before getting back to her tasks.

Chu Xiaohe knew about this at the time but didn't intervene, as his daughter had a good sense of balance.

Chu Xiaohe nodded towards the pile of New Year's goods, "Where did these come from? The boxes of goods she usually gets have her name 'Chu' on them, but these don't have any names written on them."

Hong Ximing and the other spirits dared not write Xin Yunmao's name, so his boxes of New Year's goods were left blank.

"Maybe they were extras, newly issued by the bureau." Xie Yan was suspicious, "No, she didn't drive today, so she couldn't have gone to the unit."

Chu Xiaohe nodded, looking serious and certain, "She's got something going on outside, or maybe she's got a dog."