On the first day of the New Year.
Noble Lady Cao, who had a bamboo leaf in her chamber, rose before dawn.
Servants attended to her washing, dressing, and grooming.
Noble Lady Cao's courtyard was considered quite spacious.
Noble Lady Cao came from an exceptionally wealthy family.
The Sixth Prince was among the more promising princes.
He excelled in both civil and military affairs.
Though Noble Lady Cao held the rank of Noble Lady, her position in the palace was respectable, and she lived quite comfortably.
It was like being a junior executive in a company - though her rank wasn't high, her family background and resources were excellent, and she handled important projects, living a comfortable life.
But those resources became useless when the project failed.
Noble Lady Cao maintained her composure.
When the Sixth Prince was arrested, she was in turmoil.
But being marked with guilt, the Emperor wouldn't send anyone to comfort her.
That she wasn't punished alongside him was likely because she hadn't yet crossed their minds.
But then the Sixth Prince took his own life.
He died to prove his innocence.
Noble Lady Cao wept through the night.
The Emperor sent people to console her and delivered some gifts.
That was the end of it.
Noble Lady Cao returned to her daily routines.
Her former close friends now dared not set foot near her.
A mother's influence on her child is profound, like planting a seed.
Noble Lady Cao herself was something of a cultured and aloof woman.
Looking at the vases and decorations in her chamber, one could tell - there weren't many luxurious items, but everything was elegant and comfortable.
She had once been favored, as the Emperor had appreciated her refined aloofness.
But palace competition was too fierce - if you didn't curry favor, plenty of others would rush to do so.
Aloofness couldn't compete with the scheming courtesans...
Once you adopt this aloof persona, you end up struggling with yourself, wrestling with inner conflicts. Such people can't bow their heads, and they suffer many of life's hardships, yet maintain their aloofness. After making peace with themselves, their minds find tranquility.
She had nothing left except her aloofness.
This was what she held onto.
This ill-timed quality of hers was like a seed, planted in her son's heart.
That's why the Sixth Prince ultimately chose such a decisive end.
Even though the Sixth Prince had always shown himself to be very intelligent.
Children raised in the royal family couldn't possibly remain pure and innocent, knowing nothing - such people wouldn't survive to adulthood.
But when the surface glamour of cleverness and schemes receded like a flood, the green bamboo in his heart remained standing, each joint marked by life's trials, yet remaining perfectly straight, reaching determinedly upward.
So, the Sixth Prince took his own life.
When she received news of her son's death.
Noble Lady Cao wept, her cries heart-wrenching.
She regretted everything.
Damn that aloofness.
If she had known it would end like this.
She would have crawled and kowtowed her way up.
Leading by example, telling her child not to be aloof, that while there's life there's hope, but with death, everything is lost.
But she would never have the chance to tell him these words.
Her heart was shattered.
Her son had always feared pain since childhood. She told him real men shouldn't be afraid, but his eyes would still turn red, tears falling from pain.
Such a pain-fearing child, he chose to end his life.
How much that must have hurt.
How terribly painful.
Just thinking about it made Noble Lady Cao's lips tremble. She wanted to scream like a madwoman, to cry out, but though her lips quivered open, no sound would come.
She was so refined that even when angry enough to curse, she couldn't utter a single vulgar word.
Today was the palace feast.
She had to attend.
She hadn't seen the Emperor for a long time.
Even when their child died, she hadn't seen the Emperor.
She had almost forgotten what he looked like.
During New Year, one couldn't dress too plainly.
Even though her son was dead.
She wasn't allowed to wear mourning clothes.
The palace maids did their best to dress Noble Lady Cao in clothes that weren't too ornate.
With some colored trim on white fabric.
Noble Lady Cao didn't care anymore.
With her son dead, she might as well be wearing paper clothes.
The palace ladies gradually arrived at the banquet venue.
When Noble Lady Cao sat in her place and saw Consort Zhang ahead.
She was startled.
Consort Zhang had suddenly grown old.
As old as her mother.
Consort Zhang had previously looked at most like her elder sister.
After sitting a while longer, everyone knelt and paid their respects.
Noble Lady Cao raised her head and saw the man on the dragon throne.
She suddenly felt a neurotic urge to laugh.
He had grown old, like a decrepit old man.
So this was what he had become, no wonder he no longer visited the back palace.
She had been full of anger and unbearable pain.
She had wanted to find the Emperor and cry her heart out, to cry properly, to know if this man had cried, if he would feel sad - it was his child too.
But in this instant, seeing the aged Emperor.
Noble Lady Cao suddenly felt at peace.
Karma.
Haha.
Karma!
She had only lost one child who belonged to her, but he would lose many children, one after another, until he truly became the lonely one.
