As the morning dawned, Zhi Xia only then realized that An ZhiAng had slept here with Chen Ye yesterday.
During breakfast, An ZhiAng took a steamed bun and took a bite, savoring the sweet taste that filled his mouth. "Little sister, the food here is good, isn't it? Do you have enough money to spend?"
Just for breakfast, they finished off a basket of plain steamed buns. Chen Ye alone had eaten three of them. Among the three dishes and rice porridge, the only impression left on him was that it was difficult to raise six children. If they were in a poor family, they probably wouldn't have enough to eat.
Zhi Xia paused for a moment, only then realizing his meaning. "Of course we have enough. We have our own money, so my dear fourth brother, you don't need to send me money anymore. You're not young anymore, so save it for yourself."
She had been saving the money he sent over the years, planning to return it to him when the opportunity arose. The household expenses weren't much, mainly Sister Zhang's salary. Occasionally, she would go buy groceries, but Zhi Xia brought back rice, flour, and meat. They even had vegetables growing in the backyard during the summer.
Unfortunately, An ZhiAng didn't know any of this.
"I have money now, so spend what I send you. No need to be frugal with me," An ZhiAng said. "It's you, you've been sending me things over the years. Those things can't be bought with money. Zhi Xia, you should think more about yourself, you know?"
Although they didn't grow up together, ever since they found out about each other's existence, they had a different kind of connection with each other.
An ZhiAng had never asked Zhi Xia about those obviously special things, nor had he ever refused. He hoped she wouldn't refuse him either, just like he never refused her.
"I know, I know Fourth Brother loves me the most, but if you see the food in our home, you can guess that our life is not bad now. So, you can rest assured," Zhi Xia said helplessly.
The summer days were long, and it wasn't time for school yet after they finished eating.
Chen Ye and Wanqing had already been called away by their little friends, and Sister Zhang was washing clothes by the water basin. Zhi Xia returned to her room and saw that An ZhiAng had followed her.
"Fourth Brother, do you have something to tell me?" she asked.
Since they started eating, she noticed that his gaze was always somewhat ambiguous, with a look of wanting to say something but holding back.
But he hadn't spoken up, and she didn't want to ask.
"It's something," An ZhiAng clenched his fist and coughed near his lips. "Little sister, tell me, what does it feel like to love someone?"
He had asked Liu Jun this same question yesterday, but Liu Jun and his wife had met through a blind date. He couldn't hear anything special between them, which made him feel lonely.
But Zhi Xia was different. An ZhiAng had always believed that she and Pei Jing were a perfect match.
This question, however, left Zhi Xia somewhat bewildered. She suddenly thought of him taking Su Ying home yesterday, and her eyes brightened.
"Fourth Brother, is it about you and Su Ying?" Zhi Xia raised an eyebrow at him.
An ZhiAng felt somewhat uneasy. "Don't misunderstand. I'm asking on behalf of a friend. You know, I have many friends!"
"Oh, so you're talking about a friend," Zhi Xia teased him deliberately. "But everyone's situation is different, and I don't really know what your friend's situation is, so it's hard to say."
"Well, there's this girl who has liked him for many years and wants to marry him, but he doesn't know if he should agree," An ZhiAng spoke rapidly, and his nervousness and confusion were palpable.
Zhi Xia fell silent, earnestly contemplating the question.
What does love feel like?
It suddenly dawned on her that she didn't really know.
She and Pei Jing had fallen into a natural relationship. At first, it was a marriage based on responsibility, but later on, his gentle and considerate nature made her feel good about being with him, as if she had gained something.
But did she love Pei Jing?
She didn't even know herself.
Or perhaps, did Pei Jing love her?
She only knew that she didn't reject him and even cherished the tenderness he gave her.
In her memories, he was always caring and concerned about her feelings, doing his best to take care of her and their child.
In eight years, they never argued or fought. They worked things out through discussion, and he would always try to accommodate her.
Their life was happy and peaceful, yet sometimes she felt like something was missing.
But honestly speaking, she was content with her current life.
An ZhiAng saw that Zhi Xia remained silent for a while and turned to look at her, only to find a look of confusion on her face.
In that moment, he suddenly realized something.
An ZhiAng may not be the most intelligent person, but that didn't mean he was foolish.
He used to think that Zhi Xia was completely satisfied with Pei Jing, always speaking up for him.
Now, for the first time, he realized that his sister also didn't understand love, yet she had married at such a young age.
So, what could be the reason behind this outcome?
Zhi Xia's thoughts were interrupted by An ZhiAng, who said, "Zhi Xia, you should go to school."
Zhi Xia nodded and told him, "Fourth Brother, I think instead of agonizing over love, it's better to seriously consider whether the other person is suitable for you. Love is just a momentary excitement, attracted by the novelty the other person brings. But whether it's excitement or novelty, they will fade away with time. If your friend plans to marry this person and spend a lifetime together, compatibility is more important than love for long-lasting happiness."
In that moment, Zhi Xia's eyes sparkled because she felt that she and Pei Jing were very compatible.
Love needs excitement and novelty, but life only requires peace and stability, and that is enough.
But after speaking, she suddenly realized that this was just her own perspective. She shouldn't let her temporary insight lead Fourth Brother to make the wrong choice and regret it later.
So she quickly added, "Fourth Brother, this is just my opinion. Everyone has different needs and experiences. You should make your friend think carefully about what he wants. After all, no one can predict the future, and we can only grasp the present. If the girl who confesses to him now decides to marry someone else, can he accept it?"
The final question was thrown back to herself.
But when I heard what Xia said, it seemed to make more sense than what that guy Liu Jun said.
According to Liu Jun, marriage has absolutely no benefits. After getting married, a wife's personality changes completely. She nags him like she nags their son, constantly arguing every few days. She even wants to control what clothes he wears. And then there's the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts, the trivial household matters. Just thinking about it sends shivers down his spine.
Well, forget it. Marriage isn't suitable for him. He'd rather stay single.
Being alone is so much better. He can do whatever he wants without any burdens. Why bother thinking about getting married?
Just the thought of this nonexistent thing is already giving him a headache. If he were to end up like Liu Jun after getting married, he's afraid he would collapse.
A month passed quickly, and An ZhiAng is about to return to his unit.
Before leaving, Grandma wants the whole family to get together, and she specifically asked An ZhiAng to pick up Su Ying. But Su Ying didn't come, saying that she's busy at home and won't come over.
