The ardent kisses started from the forehead, passed the tip of the nose, and landed on the lips.
The just-cleaned mouth still retained the refreshing scent of the toothpaste, which smelled and tasted good.
With the sash untied, both of them felt somewhat melted.
Although there was one experience before, combining again still brought slight discomfort.
Fortunately Yang Dawei was extremely patient, always guiding Shen Hongmei and considering her feelings.
Just overly considerate, it also made Shen Hongmei feel ashamed and indignant.
"Does it hurt?"
"Is it too heavy like this?"
"How about this, is there any discomfort?"
Shen Hongmei was like a leaf boat swaying unsteadily on the water. She didn't know whether it was uncomfortable or comfortable. Frowning, she curled herself into his arms, but just wanted him to shut up.
The night was as dark as ink. Outside the window, stars filled the sky. Even the big red double happiness character on the window was shy.
His tenderness at this time was totally inconsistent with his cold and condensed appearance, making people addicted yet tortured at the same time.
...
Yang Dawei had been coughing for a long time but it still didn't get better. Shen Hongmei asked Divine Doctor Sister to make some medicinal pills for him. Every morning when she saw Yang Dawei, she would let him take one pill. After taking medicine for several days, his cough was gone.
However, the dementia caused by his mental retardation was not so easy to treat. Divine Doctor Sister could only prescribe medicine to alleviate it based on Shen Hongmei’s account of the situation. But the hope of a complete cure was slim.
After all, Divine Doctor Sister hadn't seen the patient in person either. As a traditional Chinese medicine practitioner, without knowing the detailed physical condition, she didn't dare to prescribe heavy medicine rashly.
Deep down, Shen Hongmei sympathized with the two children. Yang Dawei became silly, and Yang Cui Er could only drop out of school to take care of the family. But for the Yang family now, this was also the only solution.
Unless letting Shen Hongxing come back, or Yang Jun found another woman. But for the children, both had pros and cons, and the cons might even outweigh the benefits.
Apparently, Yang Jun also had his own judgement, otherwise he wouldn't have rejected proposals from several sisters-in-law who were willing to marry him.
Of course, although he was an eligible bachelor, the burden of several children also deterred interest from outstanding women.
One’s smooth and sweet life could be seen from the face. This was true for Shen Hongmei. Especially since the winter began, there were fewer people going out. Occasionally some sisters from the neighborhood came over for a chat and asked her for knitting techniques.
Shen Hongmei thought there probably wouldn't be any more interactions between her and Pei Jing. But she didn't expect Pei Jing to come over so soon.
At that time, the noon sunshine was just right. Shen Hongmei and Pei Meng were sitting in the yard bundled up warmly. They even brought out the coal stove from the kitchen to get some heat.
First Shen Hongmei went to Yang Jun’s house, then came over to greet Pei Jing and Pei Meng.
In recent days, Pei Meng also heard about Shen Hongmei’s crush on her young uncle. So she was very wary of Shen Hongmei’s arrival, while Pei Jing was much more nonchalant in comparison.
With a slight raise of her eyes, the moment her eyes met Shen Hongmei’s, Pei Jing knew she didn't come simply to say hello.
"Mengmeng, it's almost time for them to come back, you should also go back and start cooking." Pei Jing said.
Of course Pei Meng could tell that Pei Jing wanted to be alone with Shen Hongmei. But she was worried about leaving Pei Jing alone with Shen Hongmei, so she hesitated for a moment.
Shen Hongmei looked at her with a gentle smile and said, "I just want to have a talk with your auntie. Isn't there a saying that distant relatives can't compare to close neighbors? My brother-in-law is often not at home. At home it's just Dawei and Cuier and several kids. As the auntie, I also often can't take good care of them. Your auntie lives nearby, so I just want to ask about the children's situation."
"Okay then, I'll go back first." Pei Meng looked around. The sunshine today was nice and many people were chatting outside, so she wasn't worried about leaving Shen Hongmei alone with Pei Jing. After all, Shen Hongmei also had some reputation, she wouldn't gamble it away.
After Pei Meng left, Pei Jing asked her directly, "What's the matter?"
Shen Hongmei dropped her smile and lowered her eyes dejectedly. She looked up and questioned Pei Jing, "Did you lie to me?"
"What do you mean? What did I lie to you about? I've been trying to help you all along, and I got your consent beforehand, didn't I? Shen Hongmei, you were the one asking me for help in the beginning. I never forced you, did I?" Pei Jing frowned.
"But after that incident, all my talents are gone. Now I can barely recognize words, my singing sounds bad, I can't dance gracefully anymore. In the past, I didn't even need to try for these things. I could sing with just an open mouth, and dance with a simple gesture. But now I can't do any of them. Haven't you noticed I became uglier than before? My temperament is not as good either." Shen Hongmei thought of the troupe leader's constant criticism of her lately, and the mockery from other troupe members that she had hit the age limit of her talents. This was the first time she heard talents could expire too.
Pei Jing contemplated, "That just means those things you lost never belonged to you in the first place, but were endowed by that being. The price was plundering others' fortune. With your own experience, you should understand this even better than me."
"But it already gave those to me, so weren't they mine then? How could it take them back?" Shen Hongmei understood, perhaps she just couldn't bear the pain of loss.
She had lost a brother! Her sister and brother-in-law also divorced. Her parents had been in poor health for years. She was now the pillar of the family. If she lost all these too, what else could she rely on to stay in the troupe and support her family?
No, this was not what she wanted. She just wanted to get rid of the System's control.
"Then if you put it this way, are you willing to let your sister be unlucky and have a big change of temperament for life, in order to maintain your talents? And your sister's children, the villagers in your village, they were all affected by you. You lost the halo that never belonged to you in the first place, but at least you still have health, accumulated connections and wealth over the years, as well as the reputation you already earned. As long as you operate well, it should be enough to live carefreely for the rest of your life, right?" Pei Jing had thought it over before. Being bound to such an evil thing, she might have impure thoughts to begin with.
But at heart, without confirmation, she was still unwilling to assume malice about others. She treated Shen Hongmei as a victim as well, thinking Shen Hongmei was coerced.
But it seemed her previous thoughts were right.
Shen Hongmei had been maliciously controlled by the System for so many years since childhood to adulthood. Her own thinking had also been assimilated in part.
Perhaps, apart from retaining some conscience, the bigger reason she couldn't accept the continued control was that she couldn't bear to see the family tragedies and the pain of her loved ones being hurt.
When those threats were removed, she was essentially still a selfish person.
In this world, eight or nine out of ten people would be selfish. Pei Jing always believed that as long as they didn't hurt others, they could be called good people.
But Shen Hongmei had already hurt many. No matter whether it was voluntary or not, the consequences were irreversible.
She was not pitiful. The ones to pity were those who got hurt due to her selfishness.
Pei Jing said the village where Shen Hongmei lived was ridiculed by others as an unlucky village. It was said that even dogs passing by would become unlucky for three days. Outsiders all detoured around their village.
Over the years, no girls from outside were willing to marry into that village at all. Young men from other villages were also unwilling to marry their girls.
"Shen Hongmei, no matter how you think, you must accept one fact. Even if those affected by you slowly regain their original fortune over time, the harm that has been done cannot be undone, just like your sister's marriage, Yang Dawei's IQ, the disabilities and illnesses of villagers due to their fortune being sucked away, and even lives that were lost. All those affected by you, you owe them for your whole life. Don't use the excuse that you were also controlled, because even if you were controlled, you were the beneficiary. Those who receive benefits cannot be innocent."
